chicoree's Journal

well homesicky-wonder,

I'm not sure that it's possible for Cor and I to make it out for the last week of your trip--but you've always known I wanted to see India, and I've been thinking since you left that someday you'd be showing me around. ummm...kid sister guide! fan-freakin'-tastic! I love it when you take a turn as the competent one(TM)

As I said, I'm not sure that we'll make it this trip, but I'll graduate ummm...someday, and god knows I'll be up for some serious travel. Maybe we could go together then.

As for the sister ring...I'm sorry it got all cold and freaked you out, but can't help you with a why on that one--as far as I can tell, everyone's pretty much fine. Cranky as all hell, but fine.

I've finally got the house as together as it's gonna get, school's started and it's starting to turn cold enough to make chicken soup.

The health stuff's not much better, but oddly, I'm getting used to feeling like shit. It's no t going to go away, so I'm letting it become the new norm. THat's pretty helpful cuz'I REALLY don't feel like making any more concessions to it. The doctor thinks I'm nuts, but I thinkg that in another few weeks the exaustion and anemia and crap will become an honest-to-god baseline--when that happens, I think it'll just stop feeling particularly "bad". I'm really looking forward to it.

I love living in Cambridge. Pearl arts, the Utretch store (where you got cheap canvases) a great sushi place, and the Harvest food co-op are practically right outside my door. The Ethiopian restaurant is
only 3 blocks from my house so I've become MUCH better friends with Lottensa and may be going to Eteria next year (shush on that for now!).

I've been walking to school and work and up and down 3 flights of stairs so I'm actually sorta getting in shape--which is a far better thing than I ever expected. All in all, I've gotta say I'm happy.

N and I are doing good. We're sort of in one of those intensely conversational phases where we're mutually fascinating again, and it totally rocks. We're so in love we could sicken an entire herd on my
little ponies with the pink-candy striped blushing sweetness of it all. And it's a really good that we're both aware of the fact for a change. Naturally, you wouldn't be able to stand us for more than two days without gagging. The fact that we've managed to come back around to this while living together, putting up with eachother's dirty socks and dishes and all is nothing shy of a miracle.

Oddly enough, it's because we're finally certain about (and ummm...actually articulating) how we feel about each other that we're free to discuss the how weirded-out we are by the existence of our
relationship and all this (granted self created, but still) marriage talk.

The whole situation has led to some damn intresting discussions. Let me tell ya, having a six-hour conversation WITH MY BOYFRIEND about the dubious existence of my heterosexuality is one of the stranger
experiences that life's offered me so far. I may even beat out train hopping. The fact that he's in the same place doesn't help make it less odd. The conversation ended—well not ended probably, but paused—with mutual promises that if I married H, or he married C, we could give one another away. Strange, no?

Also, he's decided to go to Grad School (finally!)He's starting at Harvard in a little less than a week and will be studying digital imaging and special effects. The actual degree's in applied sciences though, so there's a bunch of required programming classes etc. Harvard (still) rocks--he's pretty much *going* to be able to choose his job and his salary when he graduates-and given the fact that we're both super-sick of living the student life-style, that's just about perfect.

His decision (prompted by my really, truly non-excessive-nagging *beams with pride*)has precipitated a serious bout of whining. He's having a protracted existential/identity crisis over the whole what-am-I-doing-with-my-life thing.

I don't think he's really realized before that he has to make choices, and that making a decision at
certain points will NECESSARILY mean eliminating the opportunity to choose differently later. No one can preserve all of their options, all of the time. It's an idea that really sucks until you get used to
it. Doesn't really matter though, once he comes out of it, I think we'll be better than ever. Even if we're not, putting up with this crap is still definitely worth it. Regardless of where this romance is going, the boy IS one of my best friends, and I'm damn proud of him.

In other news, H's kicking-ass in her EMT classes. Because she's the only bi-lingual English-Spanish person in her study cohort, she's been thrown in the center of a number of emergency C-sections with
first time Latina mothers lately. As far as random trends go, it's pretty nuts. Hell, as far as anything goes, it's pretty nuts. I swear to god she looses the ability to think in English after these operations, usually for hours. Somehow we always end up on the phone. Talking to her when she cannot actually speak can be one HELL of a trip. Naturally, she's enjoying it—all of it-- goddam crazy fuck that she is. It makes me happy seeing her finally thriving. I'm so VERY,VERY, VERY glad she decided to drop the goddam music therapy and find something she could love. If this keeps up, I think there's a good chance she'll actually start playing music again. I've demanded that she write me a song for Christmas, and I've promised her a short story in return.

Amanda's back in school, and we're back to missing each other. We're so busy with our ridiculously divergent lives that we rarely get to see each other unless it's during the occasional political march.
We've been talking a surprising bit tough—granted in stray moments, but still…

It was strange how easy it was to go back to living together. Despite the fact that it took a disaster to bring us back around, I think we're both bizarrely grateful—not for the fire of course—but rather
that we were given the opportunity to become actual active interdependent friends again, rather than just resigned, long-time companions. She's getting a helluva kick outta your teeny-bopper toned
e-mails.

Oh! And Naima's in Boston tonight with Bill, her fiancé. They're staying at our house while working as vendors at the Boston Folk Festival. I hate the fact I'm at work while they're all hanging out at
home and drinking up the fire-wine with N—but I suppose I'll see them again soon. The wedding IS next month after all…

Well…

I guess that's about it from the Boston home-front. I'm heading out to Nantucket on Sunday (which has suddenly become today!) to see Gram and the ocean. I'm having fairly intense missing Grampa time, hanging out in his old chair a lot, so I plan to chase down the late Blackberries at Sanford Farms. I'll send you some sandy-ocean-smelling-moor walking
thoughts.

Love YOU the most,
--C

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